Entertainment

What If Old TV Shows Were Given Social Justice Warrior Plots?

Social Justice Warriors (SJWs) have declared war on ‘90s American television shows!

Friends, the ‘90s television show that was one of the most popular American programs of all time, has come under attack by millennials. Watching the television show on Netflix, years after the program went off the air, social justice warriors attacked the comedy because of insensitive plot lines (in the eyes of progressives).

Another famous ‘90s television show, Party of Five, is being rebooted, this time with a social justice warrior stamp of approval. The original was about a family of five that loses its parents to a car accident and works together to make ends meet and also endure life’s everyday challenges. In the rebooted version, allegedly spearheaded by those at the Freeform television network, the show will be redone with a social justice warrior flare to it. Instead of the plot being about a family who loses their parents to a tragic accident, it will be about a family who loses their parents through deportation.

This had us jumping on the SJW bandwagon and thinking: what would the plots of other famous television shows be if they, too, had a social justice revision?

Behold, the SJW makeover of some of our country’s most memorable shows:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Buffy is a millennial female, given the daunting responsibility of fighting vampires as they threaten humanity. She soon realizes that not all vampires are terrorists, starts “Vampire Lives Matter” and joins Linda Sarsour in New York.

Boy Meets World – new name, Boy Meets Girl. A story where young Cory Matthews goes through the everyday struggles of life as he transitions his way to becoming a transgender female. He is joined on this journey by his minority friend Shawn Hunter from the other side of the tracks and Mr. Feeny,  his teacher, principal, and mentor under investigation for sexting a student.

Fresh Prince of Bel Air – In West Philly born and raised, Will had to move from Philly because sugary drinks made him obese. Additionally, Philadelphia’s citywide beverage tax bankrupted his family. As a result, he was forced to move to Bel Air to become vegan.

Dawson’s Creek – A coming of age story of a group of adolescent Antifa members. Follow their story as they work to save the creek and find a way to blame the pollution on conservatives. Michelle Williams’ character, Jen, complains of the gender wage gap in her first job at Walmart.

Two Guys, A Girl, and a Pizza Place – The story of two guys who own a pizza place where a girl works. She sues them for sexual harassment, gains ownership of the pizzeria and makes all the pizza gluten-free.

FRIENDS – a group of five friends living in NYC as they look for love in all the wrong places. They come to realize they are privileged white people, deserve every struggle they face because of 500 years of white dominance in the United States, fall in love with one another, and turn to Mayor DeBlasio to help them live in a post-Trump presidential world.

A.L.F.A classic ‘80s sitcom. ALF is an illegal alien from Mexico who crosses the border illegally because there is no wall. He makes his way to the house of the Tanners and takes refuge in their garage. The Tanners are a suburban middle-class family in the San Fernando Valley area of California (a sanctuary state), so they pry ALF away from his makeshift home in the garage. The family consists of social worker Willie, his wife Kate who works at Planned Parenthood, their teenage daughter Lynn, a college TA who brags on social media about calling on non-white students in her classes, younger son Brian who is a vegan, and their cat Lucky (whom ALF wishes to consume).

Small WonderAnother show from the ‘80s. It chronicles the family of robotics engineer Ted Lawson from Google who secretly creates an artificially intelligent robot modeled after a human girl to assist DREAMer children. The storylines revolve around V.I.C.I. (an acronym for Voice Input Child Identicant, pronounced “Vicky”), not to be confused with Siri, an android in the form of a 10-year-old girl. V.I.C.I. is taken home by Lawson so that it can mature within a family environment. V.I.C.I.’s features include superhuman strength and speed, a USB outlet under her right arm, a phone charging station under her left arm, and an iPad in her back. The Lawsons reside in a small city in Oregon, and the progressive community welcomes V.I.C.I. as the Lawsons try to pass her off as an orphaned family member whose mother was deported by President Trump. They eventually seek to legally adopt her as their daughter but are denied because the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals has ruled that no minority children are allowed to be adopted by white parents because of something to do with cultural appropriations.

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Categories: Entertainment, Lifestyle

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